Of Unbelievable Happenings

Saturdays and Sundays are the two days I allow myself to eat.
I'm allowed whatever I want, within reason.
Today I've had:

• Toast: 240cals (burned off)
• 1 breadstick: 180 cals (burned off as well)
• Salad: 60 (only partially burned off)
• 2 Hot Dogs: 180 (I just purged them)

Even on the days I allow myself to eat, I still purge.
I'm so pathetic.
I've got some cookies to make later and hopefully I can enjoy them.
I know I'll still feel like shit.

Sometimes I wish this were over.
I wish I could be like those girls who can eat without thinking of it.
Even the thought of eating even a normal meal disgusts me.
It literally makes me feel ill.
The control is worth it all, however.
I don't ned to be like those other weak people who need two or three meals a day.
I am stronger than all of them.
I have to be.