Of Poetry and Pain

Today on PT, a member posted a poem.
She didn't write it, but said it described her emotions.
I have decided to share it, because the words ring true:

Torment

A weight falls heavily upon me -
A steady pull inside my brain.
In one room I seek love and understanding -
In another I purge the guilt and pain.
My guilt never leaves.
The pain only deepens.
My life is a wild rotation from one room to the other,
Locked in a ceaseless circle of torment -
A game of chess I cannot win.
I stand up, throat on fire, head spinning, heart pounding;
Begging for an end, any end, to this hell.
I gaze into the mirror, wiping my mouth,
Wondering who I have become;
A drawn and pale face, dull, expressionless eyes.
I run my hands through my hair
Hoping it will quiet the screams in my head -
But it doesn't, and tomorrow the game will start again.

by Emilith

In other news, my feet were killing me today at around 07:15.
I walked up and down my stairs 40 times and around my house for an hour.
Then, I took a break and did laundry (which needed to be done badly).
My back is also in pain, and when I touch it, it feels almost numb.

Day one of my 5-day fast went well.
Four more to go.
I have yet to decide what I will treat myself to this weekend....
Perhaps a breadstick or some grilled toast?

In other news of poetry, here is a poem I wrote awhille back that truly describes my state of mind:

Frozen in the sun
Rays searing my skin
Smothering embrace
Battles raging from within

Frozen in the rain
Pain, longing to be free
Water drowning all reason
Do you really want to be me?