Does anybody?

Does anybody even notice? Does anybody even care?

Memories (song)

Written today, and finished a few minutes ago. Unlike most things, this was written with no particular person in mind.

Red and ebony black swirling in my mind
Waves from a stormy sea threaten to consume
I can feel that I’m running out of time
I know the end is coming soon

You left me here alone to die
Uncaring if I never breathe again
I won’t let go, I have to try
Struggling to the surface to feel the wind

These memories still haunt me
Your presence still torments me
Will I ever be set free
From these lingering memories?

These memories still call to me
I still see your face before me
Can anyone ever save me
From these everlasting memories?

My traitorous heart keeps me from feeling
I’m trapped in this eternal hell
A muted world, you can’t hear my screaming
Yet I hear the tolling of the bell

I search the mirror for a distant light
For something to save me from myself
All I see is the black of night
And the remains of my heart on an abandoned shelf

These memories still haunt me
Your presence still torments me
Will I ever be set free
From these lingering memories?

These memories still call to me
I still see your face before me
Can anyone ever save me
From these everlasting memories?

Don't You (song)

This was written the day after I saw Alan (my ex-fiance). Yes, I write from experience. Hope you enjoy.

It’s been so long, but I recognized your voice
I saw you again yesterday
Though it was always your choice
I never thought you would walk away

You didn’t notice me
I never dreamed it would hurt this way
I wonder, do you think of me?
All the memories came flooding back to me yesterday

Don’t you remember that you loved me?
Don’t you remember all of our plans?
Maybe I wasn’t what you wanted me to be
Maybe I just didn’t understand

Don’t you remember that you said forever?
Don’t you remember that you said until your dying day?
Tell the truth, it’s now or never
Don’t you remember the pain in my eyes yesterday?

With a heaviness in my heart
I turned away from you
Though we’ve both given new love a start
I can’t escape the hell you put me through

I’m through with looking back
You’ll no longer have this power over me
Dying as the past fades to black
Every now and then, please remember me

Writing and new music

As I said in my last entry, I've been writing quite a bit lately. I've also discovered a new artist (new to me, anyway) named Adele. I absolutely love her voice, mainly because it's so unique. I also love the fact that she is on the heavier side and she doesn't give a damn what people think about her. Anyway, for your reading enjoyment (of lack thereof), I'll post one of the songs I've written recently. The title? Ignite the Rain. The others I will post in separate entries, so as to keep this from being so long.


Held together by the shards of our past
Already spiraling toward the ground
Still the memories hold fast
There is no other way down

Unable to see the pain behind the smile
In front of you, I can’t cry
Drowning in this sea of denial
To say that I’m healing is a lie

The pieces of our lives rearrange
Find a way to numb the pain
We both know I will never change
Just watch as I ignite the rain

Longing to erase the past
Ghosts still calling my name
How long is this sorrow supposed to last
Watch as I ignite the rain

One day this pain will disappear
Living won’t hurt anymore
Though I’m screaming, you can’t hear
Run away from this, behind the secret door

I’m still a prisoner in my nightmares
My world is crashing all around me
Still I’m left alone, lost and scared
Still the scars crack and bleed

The pieces of our lives rearrange
Find a way to numb the pain
We both know I will never change
Just watch as I ignite the rain

Longing to erase the past
Ghosts still calling my name
How long is this sorrow supposed to last
Watch as I ignite the rain

Work and new music

I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile.  I've been working so much I haven't had time. Things are going great with me and Jace, and I bought the new Evanescence album yesterday. I've been writing quite a bit lately, and I feel like it's helped me sort out the things going on in my mind. By writing, I mean songwriting. Here is my latest creation:

Don’t leave me here
Tell me it was time well spent
I can see you there
Fading to black-evanescent

Don’t leave me here
Say there’s still a chance to repent
I can see you there
Disappearing now-evanescent

Believing in what I wanted to be true
Drowning in the ocean of my mind
 Trapped in the Hell you put me through
Wasting all this precious time

Lost in this tangled web of lies
You dare tell me you love me
Deception dancing behind your eyes
Knowing you will desert me

Don’t leave me here
Tell me it was time well spent
I can see you there
Fading to black-evanescent

Don’t leave me here
Say there’s still a chance to repent
I can see you there
Disappearing now-evanescent

Though I tried
I know I have failed you
Another part of my shattered heart dies
I was never enough for you

Screaming within, dying inside
Can you hear me?
Pull away from you to hide
Knowing you can never save me

Don’t leave me here
Tell me it was time well spent
I can see you there
Fading to black-evanescent

Don’t leave me here
Say there’s still a chance to repent
I can see you there
Disappearing now-evanescent