My binge wasn't all that bad last night. Could have been much worse. Today has been great, so I hope I can stay strong enough to not go in the kitchen tonight. I dunno. I'm actually feeling pretty weak..
I'll try my best.
Jonathen worked our full shift today rather than going home early because he knew I was staying. It made me feel so special.
He told me today I was "too skinny".
Jonathen: (after making a joke about my height) I'm sorry. I know it sucks being short.
Me: Yes, it does.
Jonathen: What sucks even worse is being short and fat. But, you're not fat, so...
Me: ........
Jonathen: You're actually too skinny.
Me: Bullshit.
Jonathen: What? Did you just "bullshit" me?
I don't know if I could maintain or gain if he asked. I suppose I could try. I'm trying to stop cutting as it is. It's just such a hard addiction to break.
Today I've had nothing, and I'm going to try and keep it that way. I may go out and wash Jade even though it's freezing cold outside, but it needs to be done anyway.
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