Starting Over

I'm starting over.
And this time, I'm taking it much more seriously.
As of tonight, I've had my last taste of milk.
My last swallowed taste of chocolate without purging.
I don't care what it takes.
I'll die before I see those numbers go up due to a binge.
If God's taking bets, I pray He wants to lose.

Day one, day one, start over again.

If the blade is what it takes, so be it.
It isn't as though the blade and I aren't old friends anyway.
I don't even care if my family begins to notice.
Let them.
I've struggled alone long enough.
If they notice, it's taken them far too long to see.
In the end, I guess I had to fall.

Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness, I know myself.
Always find my place among the ashes.