Losing and Working

I've lost a pound (down to 92.0lbs) and I'm eating only "safe foods" until I reach 70lbs. My list of safe foods includes (but is not limited to):

• Pickles
• Egg whites
• Crushed ice
• Salsa
• Mustard
• Lettuce
• Red grapes
• Apples (on occasion. I'm not very fond of them)
• Celery (again, not very fond of it)
• Soup (1 full serving at MOST)

My banned list includes (but is not limited to):

• Ice cream
• Dairy products
• Bread
• Pasta
• Chocolate (unless it's the only thing I eat that day)
• Crisps
• Soda

Anyway, I work tonight from 17:00 to 22:00. Only five hours (thank God). Yesterday I only worked six hours, and I was so thankful. I detest Subway. The only good thing about it is that I'm making money, and I get free cookies, which I rarely eat anyway. I may eat one today and have that be all I eat, but I'm still debating.

Right now I'm talking to my younger cousin Caitlynn and we're talking about boys. She's only in 8th grade, but she's very smart and I know she'll be a great doctor someday. I haven't seen her or her sister Madisynn since Christmas Eve, and I kind of miss them. I'm definitely making plans with them during the summer.

I've fought another day. Lose another chance to break away from all I cannot bear. Suffer through the shame, wishing hope would just abandon me, until this is over. My loveless life, I'm lost in you tonight, waiting for you to turn around only to tear the whole world down. My darkest night, your arms that hold me tight. Waiting for you to turn around, only to tear the whole world down.  Time and time again, take it all and take the fall for you. Fear is all I hold. Bound and beaten down, all the pain I can't escape today is always with me.